HAIR CRISIS

Ok, crisis du Jour! So, about 2 weeks ago, I decide that I want to do something with my hair ebcasue I am sick of how thin it is since having the baby. Those who know me know I NEVER spend money on something like hair or makeup. I mean… I just never do. SO this is abig deal. So I call Michaels (by the way, in case you get bored and skip the rest NEVER GO TO MICHAELS!!!!!!) and they set me up with a free consult and assure me that the very nice woman who also has naturally curly hair will do whatever I want.

So today, I am so thrilled to be doing this Nice Thing for myself and convinved that when I am done I will have long flowing locks and maybe blue eyes (I know it sounds like a big order for a hair dresser, but I set the bar high!). I giddily go to the place and instantly feel as if I am Little Girl in Mommys Dressing Room. I should have taken the hint and left then. But I wait for Kelly to come and get me and when she does, I notice that she looks like maybe she was trying to fit in with her teen age daughters friends or at least steal their hair do. So she sits me down and starts tearing up my hair, telling me that there is nothing she can do with it except cut it all off! Now, I have an irrational fear of short hair, so this was out of the question. And she gets all shitty with me about the issue, and tell me that all that about 3 inches of my hair is psudo hair and that hse can’t “make my hair long for me”…. then, after I try to tell her nicely that I look awful with short hair and I am not comfortable cutting it, she informs me that my hair is “certainly not flattering the way it is” and tells me flat out that I either cut it all off or she can’t help me. Then, as if she is trying ot make me feel better, she informs me that *her* hair is curly and look how nice hers is. I wanted to tell her that her hair made her look like a middle aged soccer mom who just wants to fit in and not the cutsie little poodle she thought it would. Further, I told her my body type does not support short hair, that the less hair I have, the more I look like a triangle, and I did not come this far in life to look like a triangle. Well she stands firm, cut it or get out, so I get out.
I call Susan, very upset about my dashed hair dreams (by the way, my eyes are still brown to boot) and she instantly refers me to her hair guy, David. David, the sweetest gay man on earth, offers to see me this afternoon and fix me up fine. So we go in and he looks at my hair and tells me that he can trim it up a little at a time and that it does not need to be cut short. Then he walks me through all of the things I can do to make it healthy and fabulous, trims it up and saves the day! (hair wise, anyway)…. so now my hair is 2 inches shorter, but still long and is light and kicky! And AND he gave me extra special happy shampoo to boot! My eyes, however, are still brown. you can’t get the moon I guess…

Moral of the story… AVOID MICHAELS!! And never trust a straight person to handle what a Gay man was born to do! That and Susuan has all of the best connections inthis city. I strongly recommend you consult her before doing anything if you are in the city!

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