Posts Tagged ‘randomness’


Goals goals goals… Goals are one of those things that I have always attributed to the Olympics… like “hey what’s your goal” “Well, I’m training for the Olympics!”

 Yeah. Here’s a memo… I will never be anywhere near the Olympics.

 That’s said, I am in desperate need of some goals. And not just the New Years resolution kind. I need the “wow this actually made a change” kind.

 So, here is my issue. I’m lazy. Ok, that’s not entirely true. My real issue is that I overwhelm myself. I could come up with any number of goals right now and I can guarantee you that they would not be any where near obtainable.

So, if the above content has bored you already, then you are about to be bored even further, because I am thinking that I am going to use this space to document my goals and the way I plan on achieving them. But the first thing I need to do is to clarify exactly what it is I want.

 This is going to be a feat in and of itself, so for goal number one, I am going to take the next week and every day, tackle a different area in my life and clarify it. When I am all done, I am going to look it over and develop some realistic goals based on what I figure out from this process.

Sound good? Ok, then.

 Tomorrow, I am going to tackle my job/career. That should be fun.

Or something.


in which I have no substance at all. Or purpose. In other words, I am writing just to write. Aces!

One of my friends at work has a theory that the universe is shifting, and by the way she describes it, I think she is right.

It seems as if people who have been having a hard time are suddenly having an easier time and people who have been skating through life are suddenly hitting road blocks. Anyone else noticing this pattern?

As for my life, things are going very well. I have found that sometimes it takes something horrible happening to open up the gates to better-town.

The gates to better -town. I am a literary genius.

Point being that there is something to the notion of embracing the dark. One of my friends told me recently that he is the person who always says he “plans for the worse but hopes for the best”. He then pointed out that this is makes him a pessimist with no confidence. Clever as that is, I think that it is the overwhelming attitude of most of society. But I think maybe we should all be “planning for the best IN SPITE of the worst”.

Sometimes a building has to fall for a better building to be built!

Also, my Wii fit is still mocking me. If you do not own this game, run out and get it and watch what your Mii does when the scale registers your BMI as too high. It is the equivalent of sticking it’s tongue out and calling me a fat ass. However, the child is no longer horrified so much as he is hysterically amused. I am glad my weight issues amuse someone.

(incidentally, “weight issues” may be a bit dramatic. No one has ordered a fork lift for me yet.”


Funny. But not Ha Ha funny…

As I write this, I am listening to a news report of a 17 year old who murdered his 10 year old brother. I wish that I could tell you that my reaction is horror and shock. But it’s not. It’s simply sadness. I wish that this were unusual, but it’s not. The things that people are capable of… it’s astounding. Seriously, I know. I am just glad that this child murderer was not under 10. Frankly, that’s all I haven’t dealt with yet, is murder. The younger kids, though, they do everything else. If you believe that there is anything that a young child is not capable of, then I will tell you first hand that you are wrong. Rape, Arson, Felonious Assault… it’s out there and it’s not some mistake in the way the police report it. It’s happening.

That said, there is a reason behind these young children who do such awful things. These aren’t bad seeds. These are kids who counted on their family to do right by them and in most cases, the family just couldn’t. Couldn’t keep them safe from abuse or community violence. Couldn’t keep them safe from drugs. Couldn’t keep them safe, period.

Family is a funny thing. This random group of people that you end up with. People who you can only get so far away from because they are linked to you by DNA. Family can define who you do or do not become. They can show you the best and the worst and leave you wondering how much of who you are is a reflection of them.

Family should be compassionate towards each other. They should be tolerant and sensitive. But in the end, we do well to remember that in many ways we are glorified animals and in nature, a lot of animals eat their young. I suppose, given that perspective, maybe we should be grateful that all we did was fight over the turkey instead of ending up on the plate.

We can only make so many choices where family is concerned. But I can tell you one thing. Abuse is never ok. Never. There is no excuse or reason or justification to put your hands on another person like that. No matter their age. There is never a reason to belittle or demean another person. There is never a reason to treat anyone, least of all your family, as anything less than an extension of yourself. Not just treating them as you would want to be treated, but treating them as they would have you treat them. Sometimes that means simply taking their feelings into consideration. Sometimes it means not beating them down simply because you don’t like what they have to say.

Families are funny, though. Every single one of them has a story. Sometimes those story’s end in tragedy.

I hope that it doesn’t take a tragedy for most of us to recognize what we do and who we are. It’s the little choices we make that define our character.

May we all be proud of the character we define.

Wow. I suck.

Well, I’m sure it’s no suprise, but I let Dooce beat me in the race to the top of the blog list on this site. I kind of suck at keeping up with this blog. But I swear it’s going to be different this time! I swear!

Of course, it’s not going to be different this second. I am just really tired and considering that whining will not engage anyone but the Child, I think I’ll hold off until I can get you a real post.

Potential topic? What WOULD Jesus Do, and why do his followers have to ask?

Interigued? No? Ok, well, maybe something different then….

Good night!

Scientific Research

For a long time, I was nervous to take too many baths.


Well, my mother died of a brain tumor and SHE took a bath every single night.

Every night after dinner, my mother would go upstairs and pull out her blue vaseline bath salts and run a bath. The water would turn this awesome shade of blue and make all kinds of bubbles and I thought it was the greatest thing in the world. Sometimes I would sit up in the bathroom and talk to her while she soaked under the bubbles and sometimes I was bored and would go and play, but she always took her bath.

Then when I was a teenager, she got sick. Only no one knew she was sick. Every one thought she was depressed, because she couldn’t stay awake and she forgot things, sometimes minutes after she was told them. She forgot significant things. Like, that she had eaten. She also stopped taking her baths.

She died when I was 18 and for the longest time, I didn’t want to take baths because it made me too much like her and then I might die too. (SHUT UP, yes you WOULD think the same thing!) But much more recently, I have moved from being a die hard shower-er to a bath taker.

A few things about this. First of all, I am thinking that I was flawed in my assumption that  baths cause brain tumors. Yeah, oops! Second of all, wow, baths rock. I get why my mother took them every night, no matter what. That time in the bath is probably the most relaxing time of the day. Nothing can get to me in my bathtub!!! My super secret Fortress of  Solitude! Protector from all that is evil and DIRTY!

Also, smells good! And BUBBLES! Dude!

So. I am not a huge fan of the nightly bath. Of course, I need my own twist, and so I shower after I soak, to get the bubbles off and wash my hair. And I am pretty sure I don’t have a brain tumor! I’ve always been this off kilter! Go eccentric!! and paranoid!

However, now I am thinking that maybe it is NOT taking a bath that causes brain tumors. In which case, I totally side stepped a land mine by avoiding baths all that time. Because my research is valid and unquestionable. Like me spelling. Also, I think maybe it was my mom watching out for me that protected me from the non bath related brain tumors.

Thanks, mom!

Then again, maybe I won’t

Sometimes, you think maybe you are about to have a nervous breakdown.

And then you think that if you can just wait a few more days, you can make sure *this* bill is paid and *that* work is done.

And then you realize that if you are together enough to plan your nervous breakdown, you probably aren’t going to have one.

Oh well.